It's the hope that gets me every time. It really is. I set myself up, and I know it. I have a picture in my mind of how this time will be different, how Scout will weather this treatment in a way that leaves her standing, smiling, and saying, "There. That wasn't so bad." But this condition doesn't care about my hopes, or her hopes. It is just doing what it does, and the treatments are trying to do what they're designed to do. The collateral damage, though, is real.
So, while these past 10 days have been fractionally better, it's a pretty small fraction.
Luckily, we've had family visit, which was wonderful, and we're about to visit some more family out in Arizona, far away from the last grip that winter has on us here. That will help put Carol in a better place, both physically and psychologically, to come back to treatment the first week of May.
To think in terms of either pessimism or optimism
oversimplifies the truth. The problem is to see reality as it is.
-- Thich Nhat Hanh
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