From "What if?" to "What Is"

sculpture by Marie Davis

We are so lucky to have so many people who so obviously care about us. That's the honest truth. And yet, it is still easy to find ourselves waylaid by thoughts that don't seem to want to go away. These thoughts about what might happen can bring us to places that are hard to extract ourselves from, despite our best intentions. Over the past several months, Carol and I have spent a lot of time trying to spend less time worrying about these "What ifs". With the help of the mindfulness workshop we just finished this week, I think we may have come up with a phrase to help as a guide. Instead of focusing our energies on the unanswerable questions that start, "What if...?", we'll look at "What is", examining what is happening at this moment, bringing ourselves back from those difficult places. I know, I know -- it sounds easy on virtual paper, but any port in a storm.

And when we look at what is, the first thing either of us sees is this incredible network of caring people. We feel a bit like the wonderful carrot from Marie's sculpture (thank you so much, Marie, Aaron, Elizabeth, and Ivan!), watched over by the moon and tended by such lovely, soft-eared bunnies.

In order to give her more time to recover from side effects, Carol's treatment schedule will now be once every three weeks. This is her third week, so she's feeling relatively good. She then goes on Tuesday for her next session, which will be modified a bit to give her a little more relief from side effects.